i will never be able to truly show how much i hate you

so i got into this specsavers modelling competition today and the first prize is a year contract with MOT models and i’ve been looking through their site and omg i’m stupidly excited

not to mention the 2 week all-inclusive trip to barbados

but yeah omg can i win, please?

so, if we could just fall asleep in each others’ arms tonight, that would be just perfect.

tucked up in bed because i’m exhausted and ache everywhere. some ice tea and a back rub would be wonderful, though.

i saw a lovely watch today and i showed my two friends and they just burst out laughing and told me that it was awful and took the piss completely.

i swear this is why i always keep my mouth shut.

plan for tomorrow:

films and food and pajamas and heating on all day and snuggly, snuggly esme. yay.

I’m struggling so much with unit 2 psychology. It’s killing me. My teacher has put so much pressure on me I’m terrified to write anything down because I know for certain it’s not going to be up to his standards. He criticises the way I write, how I phrase things, even how I revise topics. It’s getting way too much and I am so scared of failing when I do look over and try to study a topic it doesn’t go in! I can read, write, speak it a million times over, but it just refuses to sink in. I guess this depression doesn’t help but I know he is the type of person to tell me to ‘get over it’ so I’m not even going to bother mentioning it. I hate watching myself slowly fail the harder I try at something. I just want to cry. Maybe I’ll avoid tomorrow all together.

lying on my floor because i feel crappy and was wondering what it was like to be a rug

I really want to paint the orange wall in my room like a slate grey. Then get a fancy wall decal of some Owl City lyrics and it will be lovely. Because orange really isn’t my colour.

i really don’t know why but at the moment whenever i listen to owl city i feel really sad. i don’t know what it is but it’s like a thick, heavy, suffocating blanket of unnecessary sadness.

this isn’t meant to happen, is it?

i’m a sucker for people who say they like me. sigh.